when everything’s made up and the facts don’t matter

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how continually shocked people are over the way white evangelicals have continued to stand by Donald Trump.  A 10/2018 Public Religion Research Institute poll showed that 71% of white evangelicals still approve of Trump’s presidency.  If we use a 2017 number from The Economist, the overall total # of self-identified white evangelicals is around 55 million – that is 17% of that year’s population.  This would mean that as recently as 3 months ago, around *39 million* white evangelicals think Trump is doing a good job.

But if you grew up in the evangelical church, it’s not at all shocking.  

Continue reading “when everything’s made up and the facts don’t matter”


learning to be me

I have never felt completely comfortable in my own body.  For as long as I can remember, I have always been too big, too tall, too broad-shouldered, too brown.  And of course, as an offshoot of that last one, I was always too loud.  As a child, I thought that I could someday change that.  When I grew up, I decided, I would be red-headed and fair-skinned like my literary idols at that time, Anne Shirley and Pippi Longstocking.  I would take up the appropriate amount of space. If I was overly loud, it would be endearing and quirky, not met with shushing or embarrassed looks.  A place where this mentality–that of being too much–was regularly enforced was in the evangelical churches and organizations I attended growing up and into college.   Continue reading “learning to be me”

I’m a bad blogger

As in, I’ve had this blog space for over a year, did like two weak entries in January 2017, then did absolutely nothing again till now, March 2018. I’m so bad at blogging. I want to be one of those people who blogs with passion and has an actual readership. But I never feel eloquent enough and I have passion for like 293839 different things and so instead of just picking one thing or alternating between things…I don’t do anything.

And I feel like I haven’t done anything meaningful, writing-wise, for years. Last year I wrote a post about how stagnant I felt and now I feel embarrassed that not a whole lot has changed. On the positive side, I have a clearer view of who I am, the things I believe, and what, exactly, I want to do with my life. It’s just a matter of taking the right steps toward those goals. I wish I was moving way faster than I am, but I guess it is what it is.

Things that are currently (and pretty constantly) important to me include:

* Education (particularly Special Education, Disability rights in elementary and secondary ed, educators having proper resources and pay to effectively serve their broad base of students.)

* Being an Ex-Evangelical (or #Exvangelical). I was raised Evangelical from age 4 and eventually left all Evangelical churches & communities by age 22. I am 33 now and still coping with the PTSD (including #RaptureAnxiety) and (words I still have trouble typing out) spiritual abuse.

* Latinx representation in all forms of media. There are a lot of us, yet where are we on TV, in the movies, behind the scenes, etc.?

* Bi visibility. Whoomp, there it is.

* Dem Party politics & policy. People who lionize Bernie Sanders, this (or at least my Twitter feed) is probably not the place for you.

* Cats. Cat cartoons. Cat memes. My cats. Your cats. Anyone’s cats.

* Loads of TV shows, musicals, books, and other nerdy stuff. One time I was in a special edition of TV Guide for loving Law & Order so much. That’s definitely going in the obituary one day. “She is preceded in death by her one true love, Law & Order: The Original Series.”

Yeah, sometimes it gets real weird, real fast around here. That should probably be my motto.